Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Athletes on Trial

Since I cannot speak about the case that I am currently sitting on the jury for, let's instead discuss some athletes who have been to court and stood in front of a juror like myself.

#1 Orenthal James Simpson

Hands down, the most high-profile trial involving an athlete, and quite possibly the most high-profile trial, period. You know the story, but here it is in a nutshell:

Nicole and Ron are found dead.
OJ jets from LA to Chicago
OJ returns to LA from Chicago.
OJ is questioned by police.
Police issue a warrant for OJ's arrest.
White Bronco.
Suicide watch.
Judge Ito.
Marcia Clark.
Christopher Darden.
Robert Shapiro.
Mark Furman.
F. Lee Baily.
"If the glove don't fit, you must acquit"
"We the people, find Orenthal James Simpson not guilty on the charge of 1st degree murder"

So, this begs the question. Before this whole ordeal, "The Juice" was definitely considered one of the greatest running backs of all-time. Is he still held in that regard? I, for one, think he should. Whatever he did or didn't do, it doesn't change what he did do on the field.

#2 Kobe Bryant

The case against Kobe Beef eventually collapsed, but not before his reputation was forever tarnished. He lost almost every endorsement deal he had (including Nutella!!!), and he had to drop some absurd amount of dollars on an "I'm sorry" ring for his wife, Vanessa.

In case you missed his "apology", let's refresh (uh, sort of) ...

I should add that, technically, Kobe never had to appear in front of any jurors, because the criminal case ended during jury selection. So, in the end, this was a lesson to all NBA Ballas; when you tap random white-ass in a random-ass hotel room, make sure she knows the deal, or just give her a large amount of cash to shut her yap!

#3 Jayson Williams

Jayson really liked his toys. He had earth movers, dune bugeys, mac trucks, and a whole host of other kind of interesting vehicles to play around with on his huge New Jersey compound. He also liked to play with guns ... especially shotguns! So, naturally, he thought it would be a good idea to play around with one his toys one night after a good number of cocktails. And, naturally, he should invite his limo driver to partake in the fun. OOPS! Yea, that huge hole in your limo driver? YOU DID THAT JAYSON! YOU SHOULD WIPE DOWN THE GUN AND JUMP IN THE POOL! That won't look shady at all!

In the end, the jury didn't convict Jayson of manslughter, which was the most serious of the seven charges he faced due to the incident. The four charges that he was convicted off mainly dealt with the cover up of the event.

Williams should be heading back to court to be retried on a reckless manslaughter charge sometime in the near future.

So what do we all learn from this?

Thank God we are not OJ Simpson, Kobe Bryant, or Jayson Williams!

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